The Jesus Cow by Michael Perry

Author:Michael Perry
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2015-03-25T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 20

Harley!”

It was Billy, and he was inside the house, hollering up the stairs. Harley looked at the clock: 10:00 a.m. He was late for work.

“Harley!”

Mindy was awake now too, clutching the sheets to her chest and looking at Harley quizzically.

“Yah! Billy!” said Harley. “Just a second!”

“You got a problem, bud! I know you got company, but you got a problem! Look out your window!”

Hopping into his pants, Harley pushed the curtains aside and looked out. The end of his driveway was clustered with cars and people. More people were arriving, some jogging on foot, others in vehicles. Most of the people and vehicles he recognized, but there were a few coming in from the overpass he’d not seen before.

“What is it, Billy?”

“It’s that damned Jesus calf!”

“Whaaat?”

“Calf’s outta the bag!”

“Ho-lee crud!” said Harley, trying to stick his head through the armhole of his T-shirt. Now Billy was at the bedroom door. He nodded at Mindy. “Pleased to meet you.”

“And you,” said Mindy. “Nice Crocs.”

“How?” said Harley to Billy, hopping on one foot and pulling a sock on the other.

“Barn door’s wide open. Calf’s out by the mailbox.”

“Shit!”

Mindy smiled. “That’s the most heartfelt thing I’ve heard you say since we met.”

IT WAS DIXIE the mail carrier who had happened upon the calf. She was pulling away from Harley’s mailbox when the animal came trotting at her through the fresh snow, tossing its head and skidding on its hooves as it tried to celebrate its freedom. Dixie backed her Jeep across the end of the drive, intending to keep the calf between the snowbanks until she could see if Harley was home or find someone to help her chase it back into the barn. Spooked by the vehicle, the calf tried to turn and run but instead came sliding right toward Dixie’s door, finally falling in a heap below her window. Dixie slid her door back and looked straight down into the face of Jesus Christ.

“Lord!” she exclaimed, shooting one hand up into the air, closing her eyes and opening them again to be sure. There was no doubt. Jesus looked a touch smudgy, but it was him all right. Dixie grabbed her phone, hands shaking, and took a photo. And then another.

And then she called Reverend Gary of the Church of the Roaring Lamb. “Bring your Bible,” she said, even as she was uploading the first photo to her Twitter account. “And your camera!”

“What is it?” asked the Reverend Gary.

“A sign!” said Dixie. “A sign from God.”

“I’m on my way,” said Reverend Gary.

Right about that time Dixie’s photo posted.

Hashtag, #JESUSCOW.

The next photo went to her Facebook page.

Then she e-mailed the Clearwater television station.

Harley ran downstairs and out the door. Shit! he kept thinking. Shit, shit, ka-shittity, SHIT! He hated it when he swore like this, even to himself, because he felt it dishonored his parents, but sometimes it slipped out, you were around it so much. And this! He had the feeling this was going to lead to some bad sh—some bad trouble indeed.

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